Going, Going, Gone!

As I have blogged before, I'm working on how I feel. I've been working out during nap times because I just can't get out of bed if J isn't waiting for me. It's been working out ok, but today Ben took an unusually short nap, so I had to think of a way to get a workout in and keep Ben occupied. Not an easy task! So I thought, I have to pick up my girls, I can just walk and do it instead of driving around. Save gas, get excersize, entertain Ben. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it in time to pick up Dani, so I had Brent on standby just in case. The first part of the walk went really quickly and I actually got there way too early! I took Ben over to the park to play and then we went back to get Hannah. Then got then re-situated with water and apples and took off again. I had to stop twice to break up some fight. Brent called at 3:05 and I was close, but not sure if I was going to make it, so I had him meet me at Kelly. I was five minutes late getting there, so I'm glad Brent went. I was still feeling good, but wasn't sure if my kids were going to be able to make it home with me. Dani insisted that she wanted to walk, so off we went. She got tired half way home and she and Hannah switched. (I took our Bike carrier. It is much easier to push than our stroller and the two little ones have more room to wiggle.) Hannah then got tired, so I put her on top. At Shulte and Corral Hollow I got a call from a friend to meet her at the park near Villa, so we went straight there. All in all I walked 4.54 miles today. I actually feel really good. My feet hurt a little (I need new shoes!), but other than that I'm doing ok. (I'll let you know how I feel in the morning!) I went to Map my run .com to figure out the distance. It sounds about accurate and I was really proud of myself for pushing it and not giving up. That is one of the reasons I'm so passionate lately about my venture. I'm so tired of thinking I can't do something because of my weight or because I'm so out of shape. I want to feel like I can do anything! And at least for tonight, I do!

Spring is in the air!

My girls have been wanting to wear their spring dresses for weeks now. I pulled out all of Dani's old clothes that I thought Hannah might be able to wear a few weeks ago so I could figure out what each of them needed. Well since then, Hannah has been asking every day to wear her new dresses! The only problem is it has still been very cold and rainy the last few weeks. So today it's suppose to get to 67 degrees, so I thought today would be the best day to try. They looked so cute I had to take a few pictures. I just bought Dani's dress at Target on Saturday (as she needs a new wardrobe every season). They were very excited and felt very pretty. Hannah even said, "See Mommy! I am a beautiful princess!" No tiara's yet sweetie, but they'll always be my princesses.

Birthday fun

My brother turned 25 on the 19th and we went out to Cattleman's restaurant in Livermore. This was not the place to go when counting calories, but I did my best! The kids took a few cute pics though with their uncle. Adam works strange hours because he is a chef at a country club. We don't get to hang out that often, but the kids love it when we do.

Hannah with the birthday hat on.

Dani not feeling well already fell fast asleep before dinner even came. Her fever broke out the next day.

Uncle Adam blowing out his candle.

Tests, Tests, Tests

Ben and Danielle are doing much better. Danielle's throat still looks like some one took a bristle brush to it, but she is starting to eat a little again. It's very difficult when your child is sick and is constantly complaining about something hurting, when there is absolutely nothing you can do for them. At least she should be back to normal soon.
The doctor suggested we take Ben to go see a neurologist to have an EKG done. Everyone assures me that they are sure it will be normal, but what if it's not? I have anxiety over it ever since Brent mentioned that he wanted to get it done. It was comforting to hear about others who had had Febral seizures or new someone who had before. It makes me think that Ben WILL be ok and that there won't be anything else, but you can never be sure. At least we will know and can begin preparing if something truly is wrong.
I go to see the doctor tomorrow to talk to him about my Thyroid. I have been feeling much better since I have been excersizing. I worked out W-Sat last week. I took Sunday off because there really isn't a good time to work out on Sunday after you go to church and all of your meetings and things. I have been sticking to my calories/fat/fiber/protein pretty good. I messed up tonight at my in-laws and now my tummy is reminding me why I shouldn't over eat! I have felt much better and when we had our ritual pizza dinner Friday night (something I love) I could only eat 1 (and the crusts of some of my kids) before my body said "no more!" I felt good that my body is starting to adapt and that hopefully I can keep it up.
My walking partner J and I are starting a weight support group. It would be nice if I could afford a gym, or a membership to a weight loss group, but I can't and J and I realized that many people can't afford it. So, we thought if we got together and weighed in each week, and then talked about how we excersize, eat, etc and share and try to do things together, that maybe the group as a whole will be more successful. We are calling it FIT FOR ETERNITY and we are really excited about it. There is also a challenge where you pay $12 and then everyone in the pot has a chance to win the money at the end of 12 weeks. The winner gets half the money, 2nd gets 30%, and 3rd gets 20%. Many were interested at church, so we will see how it goes. We start March 6th, so I'll be updated regularly.

Update

Ben is doing well. He is still running a fever and we are pumping Motrin in him like its liquid gold. Danielle broke out with a fever last night, and because it's Dani, went straight to her tonsils. She and Ben will be at the Doctor's tomorrow to get checked out. Needless to say, today wasn't the funnest day, but we made it through.

Yes I have done it. I started counting calories as of Tuesday. What a week to start! I'm also keeping track of fat, fiber, and protein. It's a little arduous, but I'm hoping to at least begin to feel good about myself again. Yesterday I did my 5:30 am 3 miles with J. Today I had planned on getting my booty about of bed early again, but when no one is waiting for you, it's very easy to think "I'll squeeze it in later." I actually tried during nap time, but only got half way through Hip Hop Abs (Don't ask) before Ben began to scream. I couldn't figure out why he wasn't sleeping until just now when I realized I washed his blanket today after he threw up on it. How one piece of fabric can mean soooooo much is just beyond me, but when he began to scream as I put him down for the night I ran to get it and he immediately stopped. Go figure! Hey, I'll take what I can get.

Woeful Weekdays!

After our great weekend, we had a difficult day today. I should preface with Hannah got sick Sunday night throwing up. She slept all day Monday as we traveled home and was fine Tuesday. Well, Ben woke up with a fever this morning. I gave him some Tylenol and got ready for work. As I was heading out to my mom's to drop off the kids, I turned around to see Ben's eyes rolled back and his head thrashing around. I realized that he was having a seizure. Once I got to my mom's, I basically threw the girls at her and drove as fast as I could to the hospital. Ben was breathing and everything, but was un-responsive to my voice and touch. He just kind of stared off. I was totally freaked out. I called Brent who met me at the hospital.
Ben was un-responsive for about an hour. Of course not being medically trained, everything awful was going through our minds. Ben wouldn't talked to us, so we worried there might be long term damage. He was seen by a nurse and didn't move the entire time, totally not his style (he's usually thrashing and screaming anytime anyone in a hospital gets near him. We think it's from being in the hospital last September for a week). After the nurse left, Brent and I were trying to get Ben to talk to us. He finally fell asleep against me. About 15 minutes later, the doctor came in to take a look. We had to wake him up, and he acted completely normal again; talking, crying, hating everything the doctor did. It was the first time I was really glad he was being so ornery.
Like in September, Benjamin had a Febral Seizure. It is when a fever spikes to fast and the brain seizes to protect itself. The fever doesn't have to be high at all. In fact Ben was at 100 when we arrived at the hospital. It's just that his fever went up too fast. They say that it occurs in 1/25 children. The younger it begins, the more common it will become for that child. There is no lasting damage and he should grow out of it by 5. The unresponsiveness can last up to 6 hours depending on how long the seizure lasts. Because I was driving when it happened, I'm not sure how long he had be seizing before I noticed. We have been told to keep a thermometer near at all times. If he even feels a bit warm to take his temp and then give him Motrin immediately.

Brent was really shaken up and stayed home the rest of the day to do a little research on these types of seizures. Everything the doctor's told us checked out. There aren't any long lasting effects and we shouldn't be worried unless he begins seizing without the fever. It turns out he just has an ear infection! All that for an ear infection. I'm glad we took him in though. The nurse implied that sometimes parents don't bring there kids in because they know the seizure is because of the fever. I'm not sure I'll ever feel that way. It's just too scary to have your child not respond to anything you do. I'm sure it will happen again with Ben. Things that happen to Ben usually do. I'm just so grateful tonight that he will be ok. We want so many things for our children, and being healthy is one of them. I realized today how much I love my son. He and his sisters mean the world to me. You never really understand the depth of you love until those you love are in jeopardy. I hope no one else ever has to go through that kind of emotional roller coaster. I know I don't want to again, but as a parent I know I'll probably have many more instances just like today.

Wonderful Weekend

So we had a great weekend up in Lake Tahoe. We invited our good friends the Hatchs to go up. We had a very fun Saturday with them sledding in our backyard, then having snowball fights down by the Heavenly Lifts. They had to leave Saturday afternoon and then we met up with our friends the Cauldron and Silcox families. We went sledding and had yummy dinner. Here are a few fun pics that I took. Lora Hatch has more (her camera is waaaayyyy better than mine, so I let her take most of the pictures!) I'll add more once I can run over and get them.

A craft by me!

Many of my blogging friends are extremely crafty. I love to scrapbook, but I'm not much of a sewer, painter, I think I'll just make something gorgeous out of cardboard, type of person. So when Dani's teachers asked us to make a valentine box at home, I wanted to make something easy, but something cute too (and cheap!).

A friend of mine used to use these boxes for a package of monthly games we use to do for kids. I had saved a couple and the red was perfect for Valentines day. I cut a hole in the top with just some scissors. I then went to my loads of scrapbook stuff (that I don't get to use anymore) and got out my die cut machine and cut the letters for her name. Then cut off part of a scrapbook page for the bottom and for around the edges of the opening. I was pretty proud of myself because I thought it turned out really cute. We can also open it form the sides without having to ruin the decorations. I can't wait to see what she gets today!

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day!
Hannah and all her Valentines

The kids Valentine morning

Our special Valentine breakfast from Daddy.

Happy Valentines Day to Me!

I'm not much of a Valentines day girl. I'm lucky though that I have a very thoughtful husband who always finds me nice things. This year for valentines day Brent took a box of old negatives and had them put on a CD. We had no idea what was on them, but most of them were from my trip to Europe and our first few year of marriage. These were some of my favorites. If you click on the pictures they will come up bigger so you can actually see me!

My friend Ida (prounced Eeda) on her way to her baptism in Sweden. There wasn't a batismal font in Linkoping, so we had to travel 30 miles to the Stake center. This is also one of the Elders I made friends with while I was there. We didn't have many members, so the Elders, Ida, and I had to hang out a lot together so they could teach her. I'm not in touch with them anymore, although I wish I had kept in touch.

Arriving in Paris on my first college backpacking trip! I was so cool.

My favorite statue in the Louvre. It feels so romantic to me!

Some big plaza in Sevilla Spain where there are a million pigeons. My friend got pooped on!

Back home, engaged and in San Fran with Friends.On our honeymoon in Mendocino. That was our little cottage we rented for the week.

Our first camping trip as a married couple!

My best friend, later to be my sister-in-law gets baptized. This was a great day.

Just a bit grumpy...PMS? or something more

So the last few days every afternoon, I feel I hit a tired time of my day where I just don't want to do anything and I turn into the grumpy Mommy Monster!!! AAAHAA! (I think Dani actually said 'run Hannah!' today.) I'm not sure what's going on? I'm not worried about it, yet it's a little annoying to be tired all of the time. I am expecting that Special monthly moment this weekend (sorry if that's too much info), so maybe that's it. I'm also just sort of in a rut? I'm not unhappy. But yesterday I found myself seriously depressed (mostly about weighty issues) and unable to get myself out of it for a couple of hours. I told the girls they needed to stay in their room until they picked up 5 toys from the floor and put them where they go. I thought for sure this would give me the 10 minutes I needed to just go say a prayer, and get to work. They were in there for almost 2 hours! Don't know what they were doing, but they were occupied! Heavenly Father really knew I needed a break!

I've been hearing from a lot of women recently that they too need something 'more' than wiping bottoms, cleaning house, and cooking meals. Some days I LOVE my mommy job. Just others, I wish I could be doing just something else. A friend of mine wants me to join the gym with her. I can't afford it right now, but maybe something like that is just what I need. I'm a little concerned that my weight is making me tired. I'm the heaviest I've ever been (except pregnant with Dani and Ben, not Hannah though). I have had really bad depression over this issue as many women do. It's not that I care necessarily about what I look like, but I can't DO what I used to be able to do. I feel like losing the weight I need to lose is the same as climbing Mount Everest. Both just seem so impossible and really un-inviting right now.

I have a walking buddy that I walk 3 miles with at 5:30 every MWF. I love walking with her because we discuss so much. She is a grandmother and has many years of experience to my few. We discuss the gospel, home, family, diets, etc and it just goes by so fast. Part of me wishes it could be everyday, but for health reasons this is all she can do right now. I enjoy working out, it's the eating part that I have trouble with. I HATE, yes HATE to cook. I love to bake (not helping much), but HATE to cook. Many nights are spend wondering what on earth I'm going to make for dinner. Most nights it's just me and the kids so we go with stuff they'll eat. Tonight (although I was craving Taco Bell my fast food of choice) I made hot dogs and Mac N Cheese. (Taco bell may have been healthier!) Needless to say this is one of my areas that I must work on. Someone close just found out she may have heart failure because of her weight and my husband (bless his soul!) said I could be next if WE didn't do something soon. (I did appreciate the we part.) So, thoughts, opinions, plans? Anyone have one that I won't kill myself trying to do? Anyone want to walk in the freezing cold mornings with me? Anyone want to get me gym membership? (Just thought I'd throw that one in there.) I LOVE comments so please feel free!

Where's the camera?

So this weekend we again had our Saturday Riddle adventures. This week we went bowling with our adventure friends. The kids had a blast. I was sooooo upset I didn't take my camera. Brent had to work but we met at the bowling alley during his lunch break. I was ever so grateful because Ben believed that every ball in the place belonged to him. Needless to say, Brent chased Ben around while I helped the girls. After we went and got ice cream cones at Foster Freeze for each of them. Again, missing my camera!!! Imagine 5 little ones sitting on the curb with their drippy ice cream cones, smiling and having a grand old time. It was one of those priceless pictures times when I didn't have my camera!!!

Saturday night Brent and I went to Olive Garden and actually got a chance to talk to one another. We saw a movie and then went and played some games with friends. All in all it was a really fun night together and I'm glad we had a chance to do it.

The kids are oober excited about going to Lake Tahoe this weekend. Dani keeps talking about the snow house and thinks that because my sister and her husband's family was there last time, that they are all up there waiting for us now. There may be a little disappointment, but I'm sure she'll get over it fast. I will definitely have my camera!

It's in the genes

So Dani had her first softball practice ever!!! She insisted that Daddy take her, so Mommy took Hannah to dance class and then we ran over right at the end to watch. Brent said she did really well. She's not the best, but certainly not the worst. We do need to teach her where first base is though! She did really well on catching, throwing, and batting. She was really excited and I'm glad Brent went for the first time instead of me. She tends to be a little braver when he's there. My mom is going to take Hannah to dance from now on so I'll go with Dani to practice (which was ok with her!) Brent said he immediately got that competitive edge like he wanted his girl to be the best in the pack. He didn't say too much to Dani during practice because he didn't want to distract her, but he is definitely the proud papa. We are really excited for this time of our life. Having babies was fun, but it's so great to teach them something and watch how they grow and change as a person and not an infant, interacting with their peers and others. We'll definitely keep you posted on her progress!

Happier times

So my last post was a little 'whoa is me.' Once I got it off my chest I felt a lot better and am moving on.

We have done a few fun things though the last couple of days. Wednesday night Hannah and Dani wanted to bake something. Hannah made pumpkin muffins with chocolate chips and Dani made Oatmeal cookie bars. Dani took pictures of us while we worked. We had a good time and Daddy was very happy to find yummy treats made by his girls when he got home from school.

Death and Taxes

Who else hates taxes? The irony of them just astonishes me. Brent and I actually owe the government money. It's depressing and frustrating. We were finally getting on our feet again when we are sucker punched from the side. Is life always this way? Can I never have just a little money in the bank without having to worry about how I'm going to pay my bills? (I realize that this can't go on forever but right now it truly feels like F-O-R-E-V-E-R!!!!!!) I told a friend today that I feel like I just can't hope for anything anymore. I'm so tired of being let down that if I just face reality that I can never have anything, then at least I won't be disappointed when that happens. Will dreams ever come true? I don't know because I try not to have them anymore. It just seems to be easier. So what does death and taxes have in common? Right now it seems that I have to pay taxes which means the death of my bank account. (Please excuse the rant. I'm just tired of being the person who gets kicked back down all the time.)

Do you feel lucky?

So Saturday we wanted to get out of the house and do something fun. We decided to head to Modesto to the mini-golf course there and putz around with some friends. It was WAY to cold to golf, so we headed inside for some games and fun. We decided to play lazer tag and arcade games. We had a blast and can't wait to go back with out the kiddos!

This is me attempting Dance Dance Revolution. I was lame, but next time I'll wear tennis shoes and be much better.

Hannah playing air hockey with her friend CamCam.

The Riddle Family plays lazer tag!
We all went in. I carried Ben and Brent carried Hannah. Dani was big enough she got to hold her own gun! Ben and Dani loved it, Hannah was afraid of the dark and cried most of the time. Needless to say mine and Brent's scores weren't that great. But we did have a great time.

Oh Holy Night

Yesterday evening was the first Friday of the month. In our ward that means it's Temple Night. Brent and I are trying to go twice a month now and we find that if we can make it to Ward Temple Night, we are half way there and still at the beginning of the month. Anyway, we went with some friends last night and were the only ones from our Ward. It was kind of sad. It would be great to look around the room and see people you know. Last week in Sunday school we discussed the tree of life and what it will be like when you die and go 'to Heaven'. Many in the class spoke of how they picture it as having generations of their family waiting there for them when they get there. I've never pictured it that way. I always only see Brent and I with the kids. Most likely it is because my family aren't members and my mind just hasn't reached that far out yet. But how great would if be if I were able to see my friends at the temple and picture them in Heaven with me.
Last week our dear Prophet passed. I thought of him while in the temple. I don't feel any sadness at his passing and didn't watch the funeral today because I'm so happy for him. He is with his wife, his family, and Our Heavenly Father. How wonderful it must have been to shed that mortal body and run to those he loved. I didn't want what was said about him today to affect my memories of the happy special man that touched my life. I actually despise funerals very much and usually only go to pay my respects to family. I'm so grateful for the knowledge I have for the here after and to know that we will continue to BE when we die. I wish that funerals could be a celebration, and hope that that was what happened today. I'm sure it was wonderful and am very excited to hear testimonies tomorrow about how others felt about him. He was really a very special person.