Warning: This is the story of the day Bree was born.
I left nothing out, for I want to remember it just the way it was.
Tuesday morning Brent and I were able to sleep in. The kids had been dropped off at the Riddle's the previous night, so we only had ourselves to worry about. I woke up at 5 am, not being able to sleep anyway. I was anxious, nervous, excited, etc. I had picked a later time so that we could leisurely arrive at the hospital at 9:30 instead of having to be there at 6:30. I quickly realized that morning that I should have picked the earlier time. I couldn't eat or drink anything, so I sat wide awake hungry and thirsty all morning. Brent and I watched a show, took showers, and then headed to the hospital.
When we arrived, the nurses were quick to get me set up. We had arrived 1 hour and 20 minutes before my surgery, like we were told, yet the nurse prepping me seemed a bit hurried like she needed more time. She was older then most of the nurses, very nice, but in her need to get me ready made mistake after painful mistake. She had to do my IV four times, while shaving me (down there which they have to do for a C-section) cut me 3 times with the electric razor, and then practically ripped my vajayjay in two while trying to put my catheter in. After these 'minor' procedures before even entering the operating room, I sort of had a mini panic attack telling Brent that I wasn't happy, that I just wanted to go home, and that I wasn't excited anymore about having this baby. I've had bad experiences in the past with my spinal meds in the back, and now it is the one thing that terrifies me about giving birth. So after my prepping, I was very worried about going into the operating room by myself to get this procedure.
Thank goodness Helen (nice old lady nurse who prepped me) was not my operating room nurse. I had Becky, who I knew from coaching softball. She was AWESOME! I told her about my little panic attack and how nervous I was to go in alone without Brent. She stayed with me the whole time and held my hand while they did the spinal. She talked me through the whole thing and then went to get Brent as soon as it was done. I don't think I could have done it without her and felt so grateful to have had her with me. The surgery went very well. I did get sick at the beginning and vomited a few times (which is just really weird when you have no feeling through out your body).
Aubree was born at 12:01pm. She came out with a full head of hair, 10lbs and 21 1/2 inches. As soon as I saw her I immediately relaxed. The overwhelming sense of love I felt for her brought tears to my eyes and made me smile so big my cheeks hurt. All my worries went out the door and I knew that she was meant to be mine. They took her to the nursery to clean her up, while they tide my tubes and finished closing me up. The kids were able to go in and see her, but didn't stay long. It was a little too much for Hannah to handle and she started crying when they pricked Bree's heal to test her blood sugar. Hannah began to cry and asked to go home. She made every excuse in the book (I'm hungry, I'm tired, I want to take a nap, etc.) so the Riddles took the kids home.
I was taken to my room and had to be on my back until I got feeling back in my legs. Family was around and Brent of course was there. He was able to stay overnight with me, which I was grateful for. The kids ended up coming back later that evening to see us and were still a little nervous. Ben didn't want to get near me and was afraid of the oxygen monitor on my finger (which had a red light and made my finger glow.) The first night was great. We were both tired, but Bree slept really well and we got a few hours here or there.
Wednesday morning they took everything off me so I was able to walk again. Brent left early to get kids off to school and get to work. I had decided to do Wednesday and Thursday alone so Brent could get some work done. I knew that the nurses would be around to help and wasn't too worried. I got up and walked around a few times before learning that I was getting a roommate. I'd never had to have a roommate before and didn't think it would be a big deal. Well.... it was. Here were the problems.
- I still couldn't move well, including getting up to get the baby when she was upset.
- The nurses were super busy. Eight babies were born then night before and four more were on the way. They didn't have enough room for everyone and were scrambling to find room. Needless to say I felt bad calling them every time my baby cried and I couldn't get up to get her.
- The lady next to me was very nice, but I had to pass by her area to get to the bathroom. Because her baby had been born early that morning, she had family coming to visit her and they had to pass by me first. Then if I needed to go potty, had to walk past a crowd of people in my PJ's hobbling like an old man.
- My milk hadn't come in, so Bree cried all day from hunger. The nurses had to give her formula multiple times to tide her over. So as my neighbor was visiting with her family, I'm in my tent area trying to breast feed my screaming child. Needless to say I felt very uncomfortable.
- I didn't have anyone coming to visit me that day until later in the evening, so I felt incredibly alone. It wasn't anyone's fault really and I wasn't mad at anyone/thing, I just felt overwhelmed and boxed in. Again, it would have been fine had I been in my own room. But I wasn't.
Later that evening I received many visitors. Lora Hatch stopped by with Camden and I immediately starting crying from frustration. I had just been told that Brent couldn't stay the night because of my room situation and it was just the last straw. Lora (even being totally stressed herself) offered to watch the kids for us for a few hours so Brent could be with me. When Brent and the kids arrived the water works started again, which made Hannah nervous. I let her know that I was just so happy to see them. Brent took the kids to get some dinner and drop them off at Lora's, then came back to visit. My brother, cousin, and friends all came to see us that night. It was a packed house with my neighbor's visitors too. As people began to leave things quieted down and Brent stayed until 10. I had Melissa (the night nurse that I had had the previous night, who I also went to high school with) and she assured Brent that she would take good care of us. She too was WONDERFUL! She took Aubree to the nursery all evening and only brought her back when she was hungry. After nursing she would take her back and if she woke up fussy, would give her a little formula to tied her over. Melissa also convinced me to take my meds (which I was trying to not take if I didn't have to. Which is just dumb after you just had surgery). This combo allowed me to really get a good nights sleep.
I woke up Thursday morning in better spirits. My doctor had told that I could go home that morning, but we had made arrangements to go home Friday. The were discharging ALL of the women who had delivered vaginally that day, which took a very long time. Families were literally sitting around waiting for paper work to be done so they could leave. It was a little nuts so I decided to stay.
I was moving much better. I spent the morning resting and Bree was doing much better. Again I was alone, but I wasn't having such a hard time. Brent had set up our mini DVD player for me so at least I could watch something in my tent (the TV was covered when you pulled the curtain). My roommate left mid afternoon and again I was alone to move about as I pleased. I pulled both curtains back to feel the space of the room again. I was able to take a shower and clean up some of my things. I just felt SO much better being alone again. That evening I had visitors again. Brent brought the kids, who weren't afraid of me anymore and I had a good visit with them. Poor Hannah though cried the whole way down the hall as she left screaming "I want my mommy!" I think the experience was the hardest on her because she hates big changes. I let the nurses know that I wanted to do whatever I could to get ready to leave in the morning, so they brought me all of the paper work and turned on a couple films I had to watch before being discharged the next morning.
Again Melissa took Bree to the nursery and I got a good night sleep. I felt great Friday morning and was ready to go, showered w/make up on, by 9:30. Brent showed up at 10 and because we were the only ones leaving that day, were able to get out in 30 minutes. The nurses were cute and said how sad they were to see me go. It was the last time I would be in there for an extended stay and many of the nurses had helped me for all of my c-sections. They gushed over Bree and made me promise to visit.
I have to say I had mixed feelings. I have always loved my quiet time in the hospital bonding with my new little one. I did enjoy my time there again even though I had had one rough day. Yet I knew in my heart that we had made the right choice to not have any more kids. Bree was meant to be our baby, our last little one. I was grateful to know that I didn't have to endure pregnancy again, pre-op, and surgery. She is our little angel. A gift straight from heaven. She has finished off our family and now we feel complete.
