Communication

What is it about 18 month olds that is just so darn hard? I feel I have been really spoiled because my girls, although definitely had their ups and downs (and still do), were somehow easier than Ben. I know that it's just because I'm in it. I'm sure everyone who knew my girls at 18 months probably remember that they were harder too. Ben just has the most difficult time communicating with me. He says 'juice' I'll get him his juice and he wigs out!!!! Like I totally got him the wrong thing and I'm the worst mom in the world because I didn't understand him. He is screaming now and I'm sure if you live in a 5 mile radius you can hear him. I love the kid to death and I want more, but I just wished he would learn to speak faster!!! I've tried everything I know, but nothing is working. I know it will come in time, but I want it to come now! Communication, Communication, Communication. Someday.

Musicals and Big Girl stuff

So lately my daughters have discovered musicals. They love both High School Musicals, Sound of Music, and the most recent Hairspray. It's been really fun to watch these movies with them and watch them get up and dance and sing. I've been thinking how fun it would be to take them to see The Lion King or Beauty and the Beast on stage. I just can't decide if they are old enough yet. I know Dani is and I'm pretty sure Hannah is just because she is so musically gifted. (The kid is a parrot! Just don't curse around her.)

As my girls are getting older, I've found myself deciding really big things for them. Dance class or softball, jeans or skirts for the day (Hannah always wants a dress, Dani jeans), things like that that I can see are shaping who they will become. Danielle says she wants to take Karate (which we just can't do right now), Hannah says she can't attempt to ride her scooter until she's 4 (which is in November. She just got that scooter from Santa!) They are both really bright, love to sing and dance around, and get along really well. What will the future hold. I don't want to know, because I'm just not ready to go there yet.

Giving in

So I borrowed the book Twilight from a friend back in November because everyone I know seems to be reading it. I read the first 20 pages and put it down thinking I just didn't have time for it and it was kind of the attitude that I didn't have to do what everyone else was doing. Then another friend recently on her blog said she had finally given in to reading it and couldn't put it down. So, last night after blogging I decided to try it out again (this time for real) instead of watching some horrible rerun because TV right now is so awful. Anyway, I'm really in to it. I'm about half way through the book and will probably finish it by this evening, when I'll call my friend to see if she has the second (this is the warning TC). I really have enjoyed reading again and I feel like if my kids see me reading, they'll want to do it to. I just wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow so I could keep on reading!

One very long night

So, the Riddle household has been suffering from some very difficult colds. The kids have had them for weeks and Ben finally broke out with a fever Monday. So Tuesday evening all my kids look exhausted by 6:30 and by 7pm were all asleep. Brent was at school and I was really excited about my evening alone to catch up on email and TV shows that I hadn't had time to watch. (I had read my scriptures already that day, so I didn't feel too bad about lounging around!) Everything was great. Ben was heard coughing quite a bit, and I had decided to give him so cough medicine before I went to bed at 10:30ish.
I did that then went to check on the girls (my common routine) to find that Danielle had had an accident. Now, Dani was fully potty trained at 2 1/2 and hasn't had any issues since she was 3. I tried to wake her up because I need to clean her and her bed up, but she wouldn't wake up. She had a fever and was coughing. I finally pulled her up (she sleeps on the top bunk, so this wasn't so easy) and got her into the bathroom. After cleaning her up she went and sat on the couch with Brent (who also wasn't feeling good because of a really good, but full of sugar brownie he ate). I put the bedding in the wash and made her a bed on the floor. Hannah had woken up during all of this and kept asking if she could have breakfast.
Around 11 I finally got the girls back in bed and was heading there myself when I heard Ben. Evidently the coughing medicine which makes my girls sleepy, keeps Ben up. So we had fun until 1:30 rocking, trying to go to sleep, rocking some more, etc. He finally settled down and I went to bed. No joke, Hannah walks in 30 minutes later just as I'm getting to sleep. I'm so tired I let her climb in bed with me. Another 30 minutes pass and in comes Dani. I put them both back to bed and looked at the clock. 3:00am. Ok, I can still get a few hours. I fell asleep and woke up about 4:30 to finding Danielle in bed with me fast asleep. I don't know when she came in or how she did it without me knowing, but there she was! So, I walked her back to her room.
Around 6:45 I heard Ben and Brent was kind enough to get up with him. I woke up about 8:30 and felt like death. Brent decided to stay home because I could not handle life at all this morning. The best part, my kids were perfectly happy and fine.

No one every told these stories when you were thinking about having kids. Oh well. I'm recovering and the kids are still snotty, but no fevers and so far are all in bed. I hope it stays that way!!!!!

My arch nemesis

So, as many of you know, I'm attempting to get me back. One of my objectives is to work out everyday for 45 min to 1 hour. MWF I walk 3 miles at 5:30 with a friend, but T/Th I have to get onto this beast. This morning it kicked my butt to China and back. It's very sad to know that you are so out of shape . I never was a runner by any means and I don't try now, but just walking on this program that is elevated was enough to make me sweat like a man. (EEWWW, Gross!) Success will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine!

A Picture of Me!

When ever a picture of me is taken, I have to frame it quick. I'm always the one behind the camera and most of the time I'm ok with that. Here is me and my cutei son enjoying popcorn Sunday afternoon.

Pony Girl

Danielle with her favorite pony. I forgot where she got this, but it has always been her favorite. She sleeps with it every night. One day she will be bigger than her pony, but not today!

Bucket List...

So, a friend of mine recently made a bucket list. It's basically a list of things you want to do before you die. She encouraged everyone to make one, and I've been having a really hard time thinking about mine. The past year has been so difficult that I have pushed aside many of my dreams because they just weren't plausible anymore. But, my realistic (which Brent calls pessimistic) attitude shouldn't hold me back forever. So, here are a few things I do want to accomplish. I will add more later when I think of them.

• Be in shape to do what I want to do. Not skinny, but in shape. This means exercise and I have to give myself time everyday to do it!
• Go on a Cruise. Right now anywhere will do, but maybe later I will get more specific.
• Be a more patient mother.
• Make Family Home Evening a priority and really try to make it fun and enjoyable.
• Play Softball again.
• Make a cook book of my Grandmother's recipes.
• Make a scrapbook of my Grandparents.
• Read the Scriptures Daily.
  
• Attend the Temple at least once every month.
  
• Get a makeover. I would love to go on that show What Not to Wear or sometimes even the Biggest Loser :) to make myself over. I feel like the same person I've been since middle school. I've never colored or cut my hair different, I prefer jeans and sweatshirt to anything else, and I've never really been taught how to put on make up right. It would be fun to see whats underneath the draby old me!
• Swim with Dolphins.
• Go to New York and see a Broadway show, a television show production, and of course Central Park.
  
• Go on a tropical vacation and not be afraid to wear a bathing suit.
• Have a girls getaway weekend to a fancy spa!!! Anyone interested?
• Go to Ireland/England and stay in a castle.
• Go back to Paris with my husband (I may have to drag him).
  
• Go to New Zealand.
  

Ok, so that's as far as I've gotten. Not bad I must say. Life is calling me back to reality. Let me know what your Bucket List is!

Beauties and the Beast

So I took this pic of the kids yesterday. Here are my two girls, attempting to be the most beautiful princesses in the Riddle home. And if you notice in the back, my son has the plastic holder I use with my swiffer duster in his mouth. Need I say more?

So Beautiful, So True

So many of you know that I'm a poetry lover. I love to write, read, and even love to see the way it is formed on the page. (I know, kind of weird). Anyway, my sister-in-law posted this beautiful poem on her blog and I just had to put in on mine. I really loved it and feel that it is the antithesis to how most mothers feel. Enjoy!

I'm Invisible

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book And I would discover what would become for me life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
Cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was
almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, > > even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction . But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime, because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'


As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Riddle Mornings

So, mornings around our house are different daily. Some mornings we are lazy because Dani doesn't go to school until 11:35. Other mornings I'm up early and wake the kids by 7:15 to get them to my moms so I can work. Other days they get to be lazy and I'm out the door.
So today was one of those 7:15 days and I wondered if the way my kids wake up now will reflect how they will behave as teenagers. I took some pictures. Tell me what YOU think!

He's so excited he got the cereal in his mouth!

Kind of out of it.


Totally like her father.

Danielle's First Clay Sculpture!
She did it all by herself and I thought it turned out pretty cute!
Good job Dani!

A Few Of My Favorite Things

I thought recently about some of my favorite things. Here are my top 10.
(Not including friends of family of course!)

10. That warm cozy feeling you have every winter morning just before you
get out of bed when you are totally comfortable
and warm and could just lay there forever.
9. My UOP sweatshirt that my husband absolutely hates!
8. My blog. It makes me happy to write about
my days and about my kids.
7. My camera. I love taking pictures and wish I had
a better camera to take better pictures.
6. Rainy days.
5. Smelly candles.
4. Hot Chocolate. I LOVE this stuff. I like all kinds of flavors and
have a cup almost every night. I need to find the Sugar Free stuff again though!
3. My writing journal. It's full of lots of unfinished thoughts and
notes and it's fun to read and add to.
2. The way my kids look before we go to church every Sunday.
Don't they just look angelic.
(notice I didn't take the pic after church!)

1. The relationships I have with my friends, family, co-workers, etc.


Thanks to all of you!

Our Budding Artists

Hannah and Danielle started their artsy classes today. Hannah is taking a beginning ballet/tap class for preschoolers and Dani is taking an art class. Dani said she had fun (they are at the same time so I didn't stay with Danielle). Hannah started off really strong, but I didn't realize they were suppose to have tap shoes the first day, so got a little embarrassed that she didn't have special shoes. She began to cry and I went in to calm her down. She stuck close to the teacher after that, but did all of the ballet moves. I hope she will grow to like it. She really loves to dance and Daddy went out and bought her new tap shoes! We love you girls!

Hannah before her first dance class on her own
showing off her new "beautiful dress."

Hannah following instructions from her teacher.

Hannah dances with her teacher and her new friends.

Danielle's first works of art! A friend from church teaches the class and her son was there too. They had to be seperated for talking to much! (Good'ole Danielle, already flirting with boys!) I forgot what techniques they learned today were,
but she has a wonderful teacher!

Why Mommyville Isn't Always Sunshine

I know that I'm not the only mother who loves her children, but really has a difficult time staying home all day with three kids that always want what the other has, is whining about something, and won't listen to a thing that I say unless it is at a decibel level the neighbors can hear. Today I actually really enjoyed myself, going out with a few friends for lunch and only having Ben most of the day. (Dani started school again and Hannah went to a friends house.) So why at 6:30 in the evening are my children just really annoying?! Here are some reasons that I think Mom's, especially stay at home all the time ones, are some of the most burned out people on the planet.

1. We are always tired! I'm not sure of one mother that goes to bed at 10 o'clock and gets up every morning without being woken up by a child tapping them on the shoulder or crying out in the night. Usually we are lying in bed just praying for another 10 minutes every morning and then hoping later to attempt to take a nap at the child's nap time.


2. We never take that nap because there is always stuff to do. Dishes, laundry, vacuuming, picking up those toys you pick up at least 5 times a day off the floor so that you do step on them and break your ankle. Then there are meals, shopping (if you dare leave the house, which I try not to do), snacks, water, juice, milk, etc.


3. If you have girls - Whining! I think whining would drive any person absolutely batty, but Mom's who are trying to accomplish something in their day, it's like nails on a chalk board. It's usually when you turn the TV on for a 30 minutes cartoon or if you are lucky, time for that nap!


4. Baby Boys - Why can't they ever sit still. My son seriously runs from one thing he is not suppose to have to another. I would just ignore him, except if I do it usually means I'll be going to the ER for something. It's funny because if his sisters aren't around, he is usually pretty good. But put his sisters in the mix and we have the pulling of the hair, hitting, biting, and the finding of any writing tool that he can get his hands on to write on what ever wall is closest.

Does anyone else feel this way, or is it just me?!
Please feel free to leave whatever snide, funny, redundant, wonderful things you have to say about your little rays of Sunshine.

New Mexico Fun

Ben in his 'I do my own stunts' shirt

Ben with Uncle Allen and Lexi
(At least I got the kids to look at the camera!)

Ben with Mia, his favorite pal
for the weekend.

Ringing in the New Year

A New Years Eve Kiss!
Hannah and Anna ringing in the New Year

Danielle and Sydney blow in the new year!

The Simple things

Simple thing number 1: So Brent and I are in New Mexico visiting Brent's brother and his family. We brought Benjamin with us because he is just hard to keep watch on. So we are are just arriving to the airport and I set Ben down to get out my license and he takes off. So, I reach to grab for his hand and, once again, his elbow dislocates. Seriously there for 5 minutes when this happens. So he cries for a few minutes, but he acts like he's fine, so we decide to make our flight. It wasn't full and it was the last flight of the evening so we were able to take his carseat on and let him sleep the whole way there. He was sooo good!
We got off the plane and drove to the ER. It was packed, so I went up to the counter and said "Mam, my son has dislocated his elbow for the second time in 6 weeks. I just need someone to pop it back in and we are out of here." She immediately called the doctor, told him what had happened and we were back there in 5 minutes, which the doctor promptly re-set Ben's elbow and we were able to go home. I was so greatful that I felt inspired to talk to her matter-of-factly, and that she was so accomodating to us. We were at the hospital a total of 45 mintues.

Simple thing number 2: I love my family. I love my husband and all that he has done for our family. He truly listens to me and tries to help me when I need it. He gives up things for me and I know that he puts me first. It's very rewarding to know that. I feel many women are frustrated that they feel they are second or third in their husband's lives. I know I am number 1 and that feels really good.

Simple thing number 3: I am grateful for friends. I have great friends. Some that I know really well, and some that I don't. The best part is that I know if I needed something from them, they would be there. I hope they know that I would be there for them too.

Simple thing number 4: Life is too short to feel jaded. Holding things in eats away at who you are and what you can become. Grudges are for horror movies and shouldn't exist in the real world. All they do is destroy you from the inside out and doesn't allow you to see past your hurt feelings. You can either be hurt or live life. Get over it how ever you need to so that progress can be made. Otherwise you will stay in a state of misery for as long as that hurt has a hold of your heart. It is your choice to forgive.

Simple thing number 5 (last one): Love yourself. Love yourself enough to search out happiness. When you are happy with yourself, you look for the good in others. You are more patient and kind. If you want to change something, work on it, but don't get down if you can't fix it right away. No one is perfect and does everything right. People make mistakes. Let yourself make mistakes and then fix them. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I don't like it and I don't like that I can't do things that I love because of it. But I do love me and that although I'm not thin, I work at walking daily, eating sort of good, and finding joy in the things I can do. I just wish women would stop comparing themselves to each other and love themselves. Men love us for who we are, why can't we?