Thoughts

So many things, so little time. That is seriously the phrase of my life. I want to do so much, need to do so much, and just don't feel like there is ever enough time. For example, Blogging. Lately it seems like the only time I blog is when I've taken pictures of the kids I want to put up. I haven't said a lot about myself in a long time. So, I thought tonight I would "catch up" in a way.

• I have been exercising my tail off but the scale HATES me and hasn't budged. I have lost inches, which I guess is the goal anyway, but the dumb scale just won't move. I'm not giving up and it will have to move eventually, or I've decided I'll have to join the NFL.
• I have found the love of reading again. I was introduced to goodreads.com by a friend of mine and now instead of walking into Barnes and Noble with no idea where to turn, I feel like I have a whole list of books that I need to find. The best part...most of the time I can just borrow them!
• Danielle is driving me crazy. She is 6 going on sixteen, or seventeen, or whenever that age is when they decide that they know better than you and they don't feel like they have to listen to you anymore. I'm not sure whether I should hang her from her toes from the back of the trailer, or attempt to be patient because my patience is JUST ABOUT GONE!
• At the same time, my children are growing up so fast. Danielle (in her attempt to be big) dresses herself, brushes her own hair, changes her earrings, and does her homework almost completely by herself when she gets it on Monday. She loves her siblings and is nice to them the majority of the time (when she isn't trying to control them). Hannah is very much my middle child. She wants someone with her all the time and has decided that she doesn't want to go to kindergarten, but would just like to stay in preschool forever. Ben knows about half of his letters and loves to be outside. He is ever so much the boy, but still loves to cuddle with his mom every now and then. He still uses a pacifier and is in diapers, but at 2 1/2 I don't care. We feel like we pushed Hannah with these things and traumatized her so much that she puts her fingers/hair in her mouth all the time. Especially when she is upset. I'm going to let Ben grow out of them in his time (or at 3 which ever comes first!)
  
• We have moved wards and I miss my friends. I miss the familiarity of knowing the people around me, saying hi in the halls, helping out where I'm needed. I miss my Sunday School class where there was always discussion. I miss feeling like I just belong. It took me 3 years to feel that way in my old ward. I just really hope I can get there sooner in my new ward.
• There are some things that I really like about our current situation. I love the fact that we can pay all of our bills. I love that I live in the country where it is quiet and safe for my kids. I like that my "house cleaning" only takes about 30 minutes. Do I want to live here forever, no. But for now it is working out.
• Brent and I bought a calendar to keep track of personal and individual prayer, scripture reading, and exercise. I actually really like it and it has kept me honest about how much I really do. I use to think I 'read' scriptures occasionally, but seeing how much you do in print is a REALLY good motivator.
  
• I realize that our next president, Mr. Obama is making history. But at the same time, I'm so over it. I just wish he would be president already so people would stop talking about how historic it is. It's just like with the election, I just want it OVER! I've always hated politics and the way that people worship this man makes me a little nervous. I wish him the best of luck because I love my country and don't want it to fall apart, but I wish he would get to it already!
• I love my family. I really do. There are bad days (sometimes all the time), but there are good moments too when Brent and I are laughing together, when I see Danielle comfort Hannah, when I play softball with the girls. Benjamin's cute smile when he is caught doing something. My children pretend playing together and for 30 minutes getting along. I think my children are beautiful. Brent and I always wonder where they came from, but somehow our two sets of genes look pretty good together. I feel we are raising them right too. I love that they know they are special because they are children of God. That they like to say their prayers and remind me that we need to say it. If this (living in a trailer) teaches me anything, it's that I love my family and that is all I need.